Water To Wine
I hated grapefruits growing up. Not to be over-dramatic, but to literally touch a piece of grapefruit to the tip of my tongue would have induced the ever-hilliarious gagging response we witness from so many childhood videos gone viral. Today, I crave them. They are life-giving, delicious vitamin packed, immune system building, weight loss promoting, diabetes preventing, heart healthy, antioxidant rich, sweet-nectar-of-the-gods, little orbs of delight. What happened between 7 and 38? My pallet changed. I grew. I changed. I developed a dissatisfaction with the sugary, cheap, nutrient deplete, mass-produced, pre-packaged edible objects and began to yearn for something natural, simple, nutritious and beneficial.
Brian’s Zahnd’s Article “Water to Wine” begins to articulate a similar progression that many of us within american pop-culture religion can relate to. He writes about his journey from cotton-candy-christianity to a more deep and robust faith by developing a palate for the aged-wine of historic Christianity.
“I was halfway to ninety, midway through life, and I’d reached a full-blown crisis. Call it a garden variety mid-life crisis if you want, but it was something more than that. You might say it was a theological crisis, though that makes it sound too cerebral. The unease I felt came from a deeper place than a mental file labeled “theology.” My life was like that U2 song stuck on repeat — I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For. I was wrestling with an uneasy feeling that the kind of Christianity I had built my life around was somehow deficient. Not wrong, but lacking. It seemed watery and weak. In my most honest moments I couldn’t help but notice that the Christianity I knew seemed to lack the kind of robust authenticity that made Jesus so fascinating. And I’d always been utterly fascinated by Jesus. Jesus wasn’t in question, but Christianity American style was.
I became a committed Christian during the Jesus Movement. I was the high school “Jesus freak” and by the tender age of twenty-two I had founded a church — as ridiculous as that sounds now! After a prolonged slow start I eventually enjoyed what most would call a “successful ministry.” At one point during the 1990’s our church was dubbed “one of the twenty fastest growing churches in America.” I was a success. Ta-da!
But by 2003, now in my mid-forties, I had become, what shall I say?…bored, restless, discontent. From a certain perspective things couldn’t have been better. I had a large church with a large staff supported by a large budget worshiping in a large complex. I was large and in charge! I had made it to the big time. But I had become increasingly dissatisfied. I was weary of the tired clichés of bumper-sticker evangelicalism. I was disenchanted by a paper-thin Christianity propped up by cheap certitude. The politicized faith of the Religious Right was driving me crazy. I was yearning for something deeper, richer, fuller. Let me say it this way — I was in Cana and the wine had run out. I needed Jesus to perform a miracle.
Don’t misunderstand me, my faith in Jesus never wavered. This wasn’t a “crisis of faith” in that sense. I believed in Jesus! What I knew was that Jesus deserved something better than “cotton candy Christianity.” Like Bilbo Baggins I felt “thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” I’d reached the point where something had to be done. I was no longer satisfied with the “cutting edge” and “successful.” I had lost my appetite for the mass-produced soda-like Christianity of pop-culture America. I wanted vintage wine from old vines. I don’t know exactly how I knew this, but I knew it.
Guided by little more than instinct I began reading the Early Church Fathers. I started with Clement and Polycarp and moved on from there. I found Athanasius more relevant than the Christian bestsellers. I resonated with Gregory of Nyssa. I found a kindred soul in Maximus the Confessor. I read Augustine’s Confessions several times in different translations and was deeply moved by it. I was beginning to develop a palate for the aged wine of historic Christianity.”
For more check out Brian Zahnd’s book, “Water to Wine”